All posts here are from sections of the books: "North Node Astrology; Rediscovering Your Life Direction and Soul Purpose" and "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer" and "Astrology for the Third Act of Life" and finally "Saturn Returns~The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer" All available in paperback, Kindle and Audible on Amazon.com

To inquire about readings or for more articles on the North/South Nodes, go to: https://www.NorthNodeAstrology.com

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

North Node and Sun Opposing Each Other















"Elizabeth, I've recently discovered your website and have been completely immersed. When I look at my own chart, my north node is in Gemini in the 7th house and opposes my Sagittarian Sun in the 1st house. I had been assuming that one of the tasks of fulfilling a chart was to "become" our sun, that the solar quest was the heroic quest. When the south node is conjunct the Sun, are we suppose to move away from our Sun? I've seen a number of charts that have the same set-up - Sun opposing the north node. Do you have any thoughts? Patty"


Thanks for your response, and because others have asked similar questions, I’d like to reply in this post. Yes, the heroic quest is a solar quest, but that's different from the Soul's quest; although so intertwined it's hard to pull apart. The Soul’s quest is more about the Nodal Journey, with the North Node being the guiding star. The Sun sign leads the Soul in the world, as the body holds the Soul, but I believe it’s in the coming together of the body and soul, the Sun and the North Node, that we truly find our way home.


Let’s look at it this way---if you think of your chart as a conference table with all the planetary personalities sitting around this table, then you could imagine your chart as a committee meeting, with your Sun as the Chairperson and organizing ego. It needs to center and focus this group of sometimes unruly archetypes that want to be heard all at once and with their own agenda. So the Sun, like a Solar Hero or Heroine, is an assertive organizing energy that is the “vehicle” that your Soul has chosen to use in this life. So yes, we do need to fulfill and honor our unique Sun sign mode of being in the world. With that in mind, you’ll want to look at the qualities of your Sun to use as one uses one’s ego strength to live in the world. In your case, with a Sagittarian Sun, you’re being called to see life as a grand quest, to actively expand your world through reading, travel, contact with “foreign ideas” and to speak your truth in a forthright manner.


However, if the Soul’s journey is reflected more by the Nodal axis than the Solar ego’s journey, then when your South Node is conjunct your Sun in the same sign, it’s implying that your default pattern of ego behavior is indeed Sagittarian, but it tends to move into the lower expression of it when you’re not being conscious. In the astrological lineage I come from, we read the South Node somewhat negatively, as holding those behaviors that we’re very comfortable with, but which don’t suit us anymore for this life.


The Sun conjuncting a South Node reminds me of an exclamation point here! It’s as if is saying: be careful! You’re being called to access the highest expression or octave of your Sag Sun and not its knee-jerk expression. I’m sure you already know how Sag in its lower expression can be played out. But one thing might be most important---and what is it? It’s the need to integrate the highest expression of its opposite sign, your North Node, Gemini. So, the negative default pattern of Sag is, in part, to already think it knows all the answers because it sees the “mountain-top” view, but it has missed the view from the valley or marketplace. So it needs to come down from a point of philosophic/spiritual surety and over self-confidence, and rub shoulders with the commoners in the valley to see the many ways that “street smarts” and differing points of view can open the heart and mind even farther. And for you, with N.Node in the 7th house, it is calling for you to do this in close one on one relationships, partnerships and with close friends.


We always need to access the highest octave of any sign involved in the Sun or Nodal axis, and to move away from its lower octave or expression. It's a lot about complementarity in the Jungian sense--of bringing in new qualities we need, and shaking out the subtlest meanings to find the balance. I'd need to see your whole chart in a reading to do this justice, but I hope this helps.
Elizabeth Spring http://www.elizabethspring@aol.com/

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

South Node Twelfth House


South Node Twelfth House, North Node Sixth House

If you look at the Nodes from a re-incarnational viewpoint, then you view the South Node as descriptive of your last life, or lives, in terms of what you didn’t get right---what you still need to work on in this life, and the default pattern that you fall back onto when life becomes stressful. Your Soul wants to move away from the habits of the South Node, and yearns to move towards the qualities of your North Node.

The South Node in the Twelfth House of the subconscious, hints that you may have spent many lifetimes in dissolution of the ego—either through meditation and spiritual quests or drug/alcohol abuse, co-dependence, of confinement in convents, prisons, or asylums. You might also have felt exiled or ostracized from your community in some way, and in this life there’s a desire to regain your identity, your sense of Self, and to manifest your vision in a concrete way here on Earth.

For you to re-engage your ego, you need to develop the perspective of the marketplace and the valley, rather than the mystic view from the mountaintop. There’s a need to get good at handling the mundane details of life. You bring with you now a compassionate and perhaps mystical understanding of life which needs to be grounded in the affairs of this world. With a newly restored ego and persona you are better able to navigate the first half of your life, and the unconscious gold in the shadow of your twelfth house waits for you as you enter the second half of life with a stable ego intact.

So you’ll want to leave behind: feeling yourself to be a victim, escapism and addictive tendencies, withdrawal and feelings of inadequacy, oversensitivity and the avoidance of planning. The qualities for you to develop are: bringing order to chaos, creating routines, focusing on the here and now, being of service to others, taking risks in spite of fears, and choosing to value and analyze details.

With this Nodal axis there can be a desire for a person or mentor who you can totally trust. You want to let go into something larger than yourself that will support you, but you are more likely to get this when you go out into the world and are of service to others first. There you are more likely to find the people and mentors you desire, but you might even find that you don’t need them as much as you thought! In this emerging into the “marketplace” and sharing your gifts and talents, you may find that you yourself are the trusted mentor that you have been looking for….you’ve become your own best authority, and are now truly the author of your own life!

Elizabeth Spring For more articles or to enquire about an astrology reading: www.elizabethspring.com

Monday, August 25, 2008

Rekindling Lost Love



Rekindling Lost Love; the Astrology of Remarriage
Twenty years married. Four years divorced, and now we're six months into seriously dating—again. Its not an uncommon scenario, but it certainly is one that makes people smile when we tell them our story! Like a good ending to a movie, love survives. Some people can heal. We're hoping we can.

A few years ago I wrote about the ending of our marriage. "Reflections on Healing a Broken Heart" on www.elizabethspring.co . That article was my way of making sense of what didn't make sense—a good marriage that unraveled for no apparent reason. I thought it was a brave attempt to delve into the discrepancy between the overt and the covert facts. The shock of our mutual choice to separate had sent me into a state of withdrawal and grieving, which I called "cocooning," and simultaneously challenged me to be in the world in a new way—wounded but not whining. It took a consistent, and at times faltering effort to do that, to not shame or blame him or myself. I can simply say that we didn't know how to do it any better at the time. The question has come around again, and the answer remains too be seen: do we know how to do it better at this point? Have we really grown in such a way that we can now re-marry? We're hoping the answer is yes, but we don't really know.

Our story is an unfamiliar one, yet the reasons people reunite can be quite varied. Loneliness and dismay at the dating experience are obvious reasons, but that wasn't our primary experience. My ex had loved and lived with a woman for three of those four years, and although he was never engaged, they appeared to be blissfully happy. They bought a lovely country house together and moved out of state. I, too, made a valiant attempt at happiness, becoming engaged to a man after a two year courtship. But I found myself missing my old love at the strangest times. I would be the last to think that I would be beset by heartache while vacationing in Italy on the shores of lake Magiore with my new fiancée. But these moments did occur, and eventually I broke off the wedding engagement six weeks before the marriage. Both of our new relationships were serious attempts to disengage from each other and they each failed. Why?

About a year ago I went away on vacation by myself, and in the process of slowing down and allowing myself to really feel and assess my life, I noted over breakfast one day that I seriously missed my ex-husband. Writing him a letter I admitted there, was a split in my life that no other man could heal. I wrote that we felt like an unfinished story, and that the bittersweet weight of our mutual history felt as integral a part of my life as my own arms or legs. I felt that I had been tragically severed by our mutual decisions to separate. Six months later I got a reply. My ex had found himself unexpectedly in tears one day while browsing through the Hallmark cards; the anniversary cards were too much for him to bear. He too felt that our story was unfinished.

So was it nostalgia? Partly. And perhaps, forgive me if I sound too romantic, but we've come to believe that we never really stopped loving each other. Perhaps we simply weren't conscious enough to see that a mid-life crisis, a passing depression, or a growing apart are events that can be part of a marriage and not a reason to end it. We needed a healing and a time apart, but we almost lost the chance for a wholeness in our lives that we are now attempting.

Why couldn't we commit ourselves to our other loves? It is still a mystery—the way love is a mystery—yet it seems to be less the fault of the significant other and more about us. Perhaps we were deeply rooted in each other and felt at home in the same soil, and so the transplant simply didn't work. And perhaps we were still haunted by our original love and our vows to hang in there with each other through thick and thin. We had let go too easily when things got thin.

Since I don't believe in accidents but do believe in choice, I suspect we needed to do exactly what we did. We needed to experience in our new relationships what was missing in our partner to see if that made a difference. And so we found partners who supplied qualities each of us lacked. He found an emotionally supportive, consistently cheerful woman who, yes, even looked like me, and who helped him feel safe enough to do some inner work and therapy. She was not as demanding as I had been. And I had found a man who liked to read, travel and talk intimately about everything. He said "yes" to many of my dreams and, although he looked nothing like my husband, I must admit he had some of the same traits. (Being an astrologer I once jokingly prayed to God to never send me another Virgo. Well, "he" was a double Virgo! Who knows best what we need?)As an astrological counselor I am always being asked about the aspects and omens of love. If I see that my client has Uranus in the 7th house squaring his Mars in Aries and opposing his Moon in Capricorn, and his lover's Saturn sits directly on his Mars... well, I try to find convincing ways to say how every relationship has its challenges. Nothing is fated, and the chart, reflecting the chemistry of a relationship hints at the climate one will be exposed to, but not the outcome. What is most important is the intention of the couple and their willingness to use their free will to make conscious decisions. That's the clincher: conscious. Sometimes when we're in a Neptunian cycle of our life, its not that easy to accurately assess what we feel. Ego and soul needs are confused. And when we are in a Plutonian cycle, experiencing a life-changing event, we may lose memory and consciousness altogether, as we know it.

Last weekend I was at a craft festival helping my ex sell his pottery. As I was wrapping up a pot in a newspaper I spotted a recently published article on Ram Dass, the spiritual spokesperson for many baby boomers. Three years ago, just before the massive stroke that severely challenged his ability to speak, he was told by his editor that his new book (being published this month) was too glib and not visceral or deep enough. Today he sees his stroke as a "fierce grace" which allowed him to know and respect the extreme suffering and vulnerability that can come with age. People close to him noted that the stroke changed him, making him more humble and compassionate. The truth is that it nearly destroyed his faith.

As I read the article, the similarities between a near-death experience, such as a stroke, and the psychic earthquake of a divorce resonated in me. The shock to the system, the tearing away of illusions and vanity, and the vulnerability must be experienced to be truly known.

At these times the soul's ruthless orchestration of destiny confronts us with uncomfortable questions. If God is compassionate and I've been "good," then how can this be happening to me? Who's wrong? Can I redefine what is a loving God or a loving mate? Are "they" giving us what we want or what we need? When we are in the midst of illness or tragedy, we are motivated to redefine our relationship with a loving or not so loving God, whereas redefining human love in relationship is a conscious choice not everyone chooses to do. It feels easier to start over or drop out.

When love is not the endorphin-filled romance of wine-tinged illusions but rather the wrenching off of our socially pleasing mask, we may need some new definitions of love and peace. This is not a time for failure of imagination. What would love feel like? What would peace feel like? The challenge is to re-imagine the possible while not indulging in tight expectations.

In his interview. Ram Dass noted that in preparing for death one prepares for the deepest mystery of the universe, and you prepare so that you'll be open, curious, and not clinging to the past. You'll just be present, moment by moment. This may be the key. In loving and in dying the act of not resisting the present moment allows the soul to have its voice. It allows for the unexpected, for newness, for a chance to see things differently. In not resisting what is, an attitude of acceptance frees the energy that was previously bound by old expectations.

Some people say if a relationship didn't work before, it won't work now because people don't change that much. What needs changing? Who needs changing? Who's in charge? When the shattering of romantic illusions and all the small betrayals stand face to face with every real hope for peace, healing, and forgiveness, the chance for change is seductive. When I consider that my lover has heard the hard edges of arrogance and fear in my tone of voice and feels the uneasy questions within me and is still willing to love me again... well! Perhaps the only hard question then is whether or not he's willing to live with someone who prowls (noisily) around the house on the nights she can't sleep.

Last week I came upon a poem by Wendell Berry that moved me so much I inscribed it with a few minor changes on a day tablet and gave it to my new "old love". Today, after rereading the article written four years ago, I saw in it I had quoted a short poem also by Wendell Berry. A sweet synchronicity seems to be echoing here:

How joyful to be together,
alone as when we first were joined
in our little house by the streamlong ago,
except that now we know
each other, as we did not then
and now instead of two stories fumblingto meet, we belong to one storythat the two, joining, made. And now
we touch each other with the tendernessof mortals, who know themselves;how joyful to feel the heart quake
at the sight of you old friend in the morning light,beautiful in your night robe!
__________________________
Elizabeth Spring, MA has been an astrologer and counselor since 1992. She has studied astrology and the work of Carl Jung in England, Switzerland, and California, and has written numerous articles for newspapers and magazines, which can be read on-line. She does readings by phone (401-294-5863) and in person (R.I.), and can be contacted through her web site: www.elizabethspring.com or at: elizabethspring@aol.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

South Node Eleventh House, North Node Fifth House


South Node Eleventh House, North Node Fifth House

Are your “friends” the kind of people who support your goals, your values, and see you for who you really are? Or are they people who have “just happened to you” along the way? With the South Node in the 11th house, there’s a chance that you need to move up an octave in choosing friends who support you and your dreams, and also a need to leave behind peer pressure in any of its forms. It’s important for you to become clear on who you are and who you want to spend your time with—move away from the crowds or groups that simply fill your time, and find a few “heart-mates” instead of acquaintances, and look for the community or place where you really belong. Look around a bit, so that you can sit at the right “camp-fire.”

With this South Node you’ll want to move away from the lower expression of Aquarian qualities: being emotionally aloof and detached, avoiding confrontation and intimacy, and having a tendency to think you always need more knowledge before taking action. Instead, it’s time to take more risks, to reach for center stage, and to develop one’s confidence---even if it means allowing your childlike qualities to come out more, and for you to be more of a “character.”

Your fifth house North Node here wants to have more fun, and to see life as a game worth playing. It can bring out your entrepreneurial and artistic side as well. This Nodal axis wants to get personal—to risk the love affair, to have a child, to express itself creatively. It doesn’t need to get philosophical and talk about saving humanity---how about just one child at a time? And maybe that child could just be your inner child that’s been neglected for awhile.

In past lives you might have been living on the sidelines watching others interact. You could have done great things as a scientist, an eccentric genius, a humanitarian….one who gave selflessly. Now it’s time to “give to the giver” and to feel the flow of love in and out of your heart. You’ve earned it.
(c) elizabeth spring For more information: www.elizabethspring.com

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

South Node Tenth House, North Node Fourth House


"Reject the seductive impulse to encapsulate the mystery by reason." Jim Hollis, Jungian analyst
The movement from the outer-world orientation of the tenth house, to the fourth house of one's inner world of family and personal mythology, suggests the wisdom of not sacrificing your personal life in the pursuit of worldly ambition. It hints of a need to focus more on the process of doing things rather than the goal or end result. We also hear a suggestion implying that the personal subjective response to life is the right one for you--and that as Jim Hollis mentions in the above quote, it's best not to reduce the mystery and process of life to logic, reason, and anything that diminishes the depth of the inner response. Here the mystery can be felt, not analysed.
In former lives, or earlier in this life, you may have trained yourself to repress feelings, instincts, sensual enjoyment for the sake of what needed to be done. You may have achieved positions of authority or respect, but you may have been separated from a sweeter flow of family interactions and personal reflection. This life is now meant to create a better balance between accomplishing things and nourishing and supporting yourself and others.
Although you'll want to show empathy and validate your own feelings and those of others, and to work for emotional security, you would be wise to focus more on yourself than others, and not try to take charge without fully understanding the situation. Use your intuition! You don't need to feel overly responsible anymore. You also don't need to hide feelings and fears in intimate relationships or do just what is socially acceptable rather than totally honest. By understanding and accepting other's fluctuating moods without judgment, you can find that things get done anyway, and people's feelings are, at times, most important.
You are bringing gifts with you into this life that make you a natural leader and person of authority; use these 'default patterns' of behaving to stretch into the realms of emotion, mystery, and deep connection to Self. Inner work is as valid, or more valid, than outer work in the world in this life, so keep that soul-ful connection to your spiritual, meaning-making Self. And in loving yourself for that, you will love and honor others for their efforts to do the same. Be the mystery you see.....
elizabeth spring (c) For more information or to inquire about readings: www.elizabethspring.com

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

South Node Ninth House, Sagittarius, North Node Third House, Gemini


South Node Ninth House, Sagittarius, North Node Third House, Gemini

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep.” Rumi

This saying by the Persian poet, Rumi, speaks to us on many levels. “You must ask for what you really want” reminds us that spiritual etiquette requires us to ask God/Universe for intervention when needed. Intention made in prayer or ritual holds more weight than thoughts and wishes spoken to a friend over coffee. And it also speaks to the communicative power that is latent in the 3rd/9th house nodal axis.

If your South Node is in the 9th house you may be familiar with “the doorsill where the two worlds touch” if not consciously, then in the deep recesses of your psyche. Having a Ninth house South Node implies that you sought after Truth in the past—either in former lives or this one—and told yourself a self-convincing story of how it all is. You may have been a mystic or religious leader, and “right” in your own way, but you caught the view from the mountain-top, and didn’t understand the view from the valley or marketplace.

So you are cautioned not to go back to sleep, (or into another state of consciousness). You do this by relaxing your ideas about freedom, aloneness and purity of thought, and give up needing to know all the answers. What you need now is to open up to new information and insights gained as you see the multiplicity of life and “truths” as revealed to you in the messiness of life in the “marketplace” or within family life, not the mountaintop.

You may have spent former lives in a religious organization or simply as one who distanced themselves from the clutter and clatter of human relationships. Now you can bring the innate spiritual wisdom you brought over from previous lives and use it in teaching, writing, speaking and communicating to others without prejudgment or aloofness. You are ready to listen and hear the paradoxes of life now, and your curiosity, tact, and ability to convey deep truths with compassion and fresh insight is a profound gift you have to share. Use it wisely; don’t go back to sleep.

Elizabeth Spring © For more information on the Nodes and readings go to www.elizabethspring.com

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

And how does one understand the North Node, and South Node; Life Direction and Soul Purpose


Understanding Your North Node, South Node:
Life Direction and Soul Purpose

It has got to sound outrageous that anyone can help another person discover their soul purpose and life direction! And especially from information gained through an astrology chart—but that is exactly what I do as an astrologer. I specialize in helping you understand the complex “soul directive” that is contained in your particular North and South Nodes.

It’s more complex than it appears at first. The sign of your North Node describes the experiences and lessons your Soul wants to move towards in this life, whereas the South Node sign describes what your Soul has already brought into this life and what it wants to move away from. It’s your default pattern when all the chips are down.

Besides the signs of your Nodes, the “houses” of your chart in which they are placed are crucial because they tell much more of the story---they describe in more detail the area or part of your life that needs emphasis, and needs de-emphasis.

And then it’s necessary to bring in the other “players”; the Sun, Moon, Saturn, Rising Sign, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune, to see how they fit into the puzzle. The first four mentioned are probably the most crucial pieces of the story, but the art of astrology is to know how to take the exquisite mandala of the chart apart and then put it back together—to synthesize and prioritize what is truly meaningful and what is not. It’s not hard to read about your Nodes by sign and house on this blog, but quite honestly, you’re probably not going to get the whole picture unless you have the ability to be objective in weighing the relative value of each piece.

Another important consideration is this: the South Node reflects not only past life karma and traits, but also the patterns you are still getting stuck in! These are what the Jungian writer, Jim Hollis calls “the swamplands of the Soul.” The same issues keep coming around in more and more sophisticated ways, but we’re still dealing with the same South Node problems. It’s good to know what to call it; to name it.

To go deeper, you also need to consider the rulers of the Nodes, and the aspects to the Nodes. Many people have what is called a “skipped step” or a piece of unfinished business that is reflected by a square aspect to the Nodes. A trine aspect represents people and situations that enabled you to live out your “default pattern.”

And finally we look to planets that aspect the Nodes. These tell us how this energy is “echoed” in the chart and in your life, and gives us hints as to how to draw out more information and elaborate upon what the Soul is up against, and what the Soul is yearning for this time around. Look to other posts on this site to explain more.

Yes, it’s complicated, and simply a theory. But I wouldn’t want to not know how this plays out in my life—I take my own intuitive wisdom as first priority, but this certainly has helped me know things about myself that I wouldn’t have considered. I’m sure a couple of years of good therapy would have brought up the same things, but then again, I like the easiness of knowing. The hard part is what to do with it all, and how to live it out. Elizabeth Spring (C)http://www.elizabethspring.com/ Contact for a reading at: elizabethspring@aol.com

Friday, July 25, 2008

South Node 8th House Scorpio, North Node 2nd House Taurus


Away with the drama and trauma and melodrama! No more tragic love stories, no more battles for power, struggles for revenge, hidden agendas and all the stuff of great novels. Just peace. Serenity. That’s the movement away from the South Node in the 8th house to the North Node in the 2nd house. Your Soul needs a rest…

The 8th house South Node, ruled by Pluto, has struggled to transform and be re-born like the phoenix, and somewhere in all that struggling has come an exhaustion and weariness of the spirit. This life is now one where you are being called to rethink your values, your priorities, and put the Venus ruled 2nd house of Taurus back in its position of prominence. This is not the Venus of the struggle, but of gentle inquiry---the one that has the savvy to pick her own battles and chooses the “mutual fund” that agrees with her political and ecological consciousness. This is the Venus that soothes us, and reminds us of our roots in this good earth. She’d rather write a poem than put on the dress that makes her into the femme fatale. She finds the sacred in the commonplace, and makes it extraordinary.

The South Node here has great gold in its shadowy inheritance---it has a hard won wisdom and occult knowledge that can serve us well when used right. Certainly astrologers and those interested in astrology, have resources here in the 8th house. But as always with the South Node there is the defeat and despair of what we didn’t get right earlier in this life or in a former life. We paid too much attention to other people’s business rather than our own. We were the power behind the throne, or the one who “borrowed” another’s values, glory, money or husband. Our own yearning for these things seemed to make it acceptable, but we missed the basic course in ethics and compassion and fairness.

This new North Node in the 2nd house is deceptively easy---stay away from all that. Just be good and mind your own business. Enjoy yourself, don’t tell me you have to “work”---instead, take a picnic to the beach to watch that beautiful sunset. Easy….yes?!

Elizabeth Spring © www.elizabethspring.com

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Astrologer tells the Poet...




"All poets need to wander
Through the bramble and the bush
Through the labyrinths of city streets
Lost and listening
In a foreign land
Till they find themselves
Cast up—
Upon the ragged edges
Of some blank
And questioning page.

All poets need to wander
The untrodden routes
And unclocked byways
Of memory
Till they’ve shaken off
The familiar ways
And unexamined life
The way a dog
Shakes off his sluggishness,
Then bounds back
Into the scent of a place,
A time, a story.

All poets need to wander
Through labyrinths of lines
Saturating their pages
With cries and shouts and sounds—
Raging against the sorrows
That have no voice—
Bestowing meaning where
There once was none,
Bestowing blessings
Upon the luminous
Yet ravaged landscapes
Of our lives.

All poets need to wander
Through blackened pages
Of spilled wine and words
Till finding themselves once again
Kneeling and kissing the ground—
They find the words that
Allow us to hear
As if for the first time—
The sound
Of our one true voice.

All poets need to wander
Till they hear themselves say:
“And this is how it was for me”
Then listen to hear how others too—
Have also caught the way:
How light has entered their lives
And then left; how night comes,
And morning follows…
How different and yet the same
Held together by
This one uncommon life.

All poets need to wander…."

Elizabeth Spring July, 2008
elizabethspring@aol.com

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Saturn-Neptune Disease

"The tip of my pen paused over the sign of Saturn and then moved like a hand on a ouiji board across the chart in a direct line to Neptune and stopped. Damn! I stopped breathing. The pen circled the rim again looking for something else—Jupiter, Venus, Uranus—what else was happening? Coming around full circle it hovered over Saturn, quivering there on the line-- the cusp between the 5th and 6th houses, between health and illness. My mind quickly calculated the 90 degree square to Jupiter, and froze. My hand lost its grip on the pen; paralyzed. I didn't want to see that, I didn't want to know.

I've been studying astrology for thirty-eight years. Eighteen years ago I started charging money for my services. But I'm not the kind of astrologer who traces her chart daily—in fact, I've always been a little dense when it comes to understanding my own chart. Or maybe I just resist looking. But this morning, after seeing Dr Haverstein I just had to look closer. Besides, maybe I would see something there that he had hadn't seen. So when I got home, I opened my computer and pulled up my chart.

I have always felt that the more information we have the better choices we make. Yet the more we know, the greater the array of possibilities. NaivetĂ© is seldom a good position for making choices, but neither is fear. But how much is it helpful to know? I see myself as one who likes to delve beneath the surface of things to find out what's really happening—and yet, I question--does it really do any good to have a glimpse into what could happen?

Ancient astrologers have always proclaimed that character equals fate, and therefore as we change our character we change our fate. Sounds reasonable, but these subjects are so much more fun to debate over a glass of wine than over the lens of anybody's x-ray.

I'm scheduled to have a Cat scan on my lungs tomorrow. If cysts are found, there will have to be an operation. And if the liquid from the cyst spills into my lungs it could kill me. But the doctor said he has medicine for that. They can stop the infection. Don't worry, he said, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Right now I'm looking at my astrological x-ray of the psyche. This cat-scan shows a Saturn-Neptune opposition; a classic signature of disease. But it's occult; hidden. With Neptune one can never see clearly—it could even be an illusion—not even there. And there's also Saturn squaring Jupiter, hinting at a certain lack of luck or grace. I will have to use my own medicine here; my own way of seeing the larger picture overlaying the smaller picture. And with Neptune, there will be layers of meaning and metaphor here; perhaps an illusive prognosis, or lost pieces of information. Don't worry I tell myself, I'm sure it will be fine. It shouldn't be so hard after all, it's the work I do--it shouldn't be so hard. "
This journal entry was something I wrote awhile back, and it was interesting for me to find it again today and to see that what I believed to be an almost life-threatening disease--a Saturn/Neptune disease, having to do with a parasite I picked up in Mexico--was really FEAR of the disease. I may actually have the disease but it is occult, hidden, and not treatable. A Neptunian disease for sure...and it never caused any problems once the transit passed!
Elizabeth Spring www.elizabethspring.com
*Painting is by my grandmother, Elizabeth English, done in 1904. It's called "The Fortune-Teller".
Elizabeth Spring