So you had an updated reading from your favorite astrologer, and you were pleased. You saw where you needed to focus your energy now, gained a few insights, and “the astrological weather forecast” looked good, especially this month. Then what’s the problem? Why are sitting there feeling so out of sorts? Why are you feeling so moody, so uncharacteristically angry, sad, overwhelmed or ---whatever! You fill in the blanks.
Consider this. You live with another person—your mate, your child, your roommate, your mother. You share a living space, but you may be sharing far more than you realize. It’s one thing to be considerate of each other’s moods, but have you thought about how your “partner’s” astrological transits are affecting you?
An interesting thing happens in relationships. And it happens in all relationships where people are closely interacting with each other---you not only pick up on the unexpressed mood of the other person, but you may be compensating for it as well.
“Compensation” is essentially what happens when two people are experiencing something together, and only one person expresses the mood of the moment. The other person compensates in a way that they feel comfortable with—for example, if you and your partner are in a restaurant and your server is painfully slow and un-attentive, one of you is likely to voice an opinion on it. The quiet person now has the choice of how to react or how to compensate for the emotions that have been stirred up. And what is interesting here is that because the frustration has been expressed already, the other person often tries to balance or compensate the situation by what they choose to say---and they have considerable freedom here because the pressure of the uncomfortable irritability has already been expressed.
Often what happens is that the less irritated person tries to make the situation better in some way. This person—let’s say it’s you---may be resisting those irritating emotions within yourself. You both have experienced it, but by being nice and suppressing your annoyance, your partner’s annoyance may intensify. Or you may choose to vent along with your partner, feeling even more fueled in your aggravation that before.
There’s a dynamic happening here that also happens astrologically and more subtly. Simply put, your partner’s aspects have a powerful effect on you because you two are acting and reacting together, in tandem, and you may be compensating and confused about the source of your feelings. The source, oddly enough, may not be arising from within you, but from your compensating reactions to the intensity/irritability/mood of your partner.
For example, my husband is now having Uranus in the 12th house opposing his Virgo Sun in the 6th house. This is not a short transit and it has many expressions of varying intensities at different times. What I am aware of, or surprised at, is simply that I’ve noticed a certain need for intimacy and closeness within me, as he seems to be retreating into his “cave” and into his various flights of freedom. I’ve also felt a certain Uranian anxiety and excitement at times, as well as a desire to break free and “do something different.” Now this is his transit, his experience, not mine. However, when he almost unconsciously responds to it—especially with Uranus traveling through the area of his chart that rules the unconscious, I pick up on the energy and respond or compensate for it. At times I’ll feel anxious about the undertow of his “pulling away” from me, and his movement towards a more Uranian freedom that he expresses very subtly. It’s not that I have such a huge urge to merge, but I’m compensating for the unspoken “unsettledness” and cool objectivity I feel emanating from him. It’s not that what I’m feeling or doing is wrong, it’s just fascinating that my astrological aspects are not addressing this!
It makes perfect sense. Two peas in a pod; one changes and the other reacts. One person has a strong transit and the other reacts both to what is said and what is not said. So….a word to the wise; look at your partner’s transits as well as your own and bring a little extra consciousness into your reactions. We can choose to practice better communication, and we can choose how to compensate for whatever mood is brought into the room by our partner. But let’s take a look at their transits and progressions, as well as our own, from time to time. If we are good astrologers, we know how deep the interconnections are, and how permeable the spaces are between us.
© Elizabeth Spring April, 2008 (If you are interested in your partner’s transits and progressions, then consider having a chart comparison done---one that would include both a synastry chart reading of your birth charts, as well as a look at the transits that are effecting you both in different ways now. Check out home website for details: http://www.elizabethspring.com/