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Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Meatloaf Meltdown; Crisis in Confidence

"The Meatloaf Meltdown;”
Crisis of Confidence

My daughter, Sarah, who has always identified with not being a domestic goddess of any sort—especially in the kitchen--decided to make meatloaf for her husband and baby girl last night. She had found some loose directions from an old recipe, and the Moon that night in Scorpio must have stirred something in her. I thought it was a good omen that my husband had dropped by her house late in the afternoon and had proudly returned home telling me of the good smells coming from Sarah’s kitchen.

Two hours later, she called me back, with both a cry and a laugh in her voice. She was seriously considering that perhaps she could have poisoned her family by undercooking the meatloaf. In fact, she went on to say, she was so upset by this possibility that when she placed the dish before her family she became nauseous just looking at the slightly runny meatloaf. She could barely eat it, and worst of all, she completely ruined the dinner for her husband who thought it was quite a tasty meal, except for the running commentary on it. Or maybe—worst of all she feared, they might now all have to go to the emergency room with food poisoning.

In good grandmotherly style, I proceeded to reassure her (for all the various logical reasons) that she hadn’t done anything deadly to her family, and I went on to ask if she could possibly see the humor in all this—about how hard she tried and yet how poignantly sad and deliciously funny it all was—especially since her husband insisted it was quite yummy and there was no pinkness except for the delicious bits of tomatoes.

Oh, by the way, they’re all fine, but Sarah’s courageous attempts at “domestic goddessing” and her second guessing of these efforts, struck a chord with me. How often do I set myself up for a challenge, do it, and then criticize myself for the flaws? Where is this nasty genetic or astrological gene that wracks us with our lack of perfection? I don’t think it’s worthy of a full astrological analysis, but it could have deep roots in our maternal legacy. But that’s another story.

Today, Sarah and I are affectionately calling this crisis of confidence, a “meatloaf meltdown.” There are no specific astrological correlates for this, although perhaps she was reaching for her North Node in Virgo, (with its down side of perfectionism) and the Moon that night in Scorpio might have whipped up her worse fears. However, since all you good readers of the Nodes are scrutinizing your lives in terms of the life direction and soul purpose, I would plead with you to be compassionate with yourself and all your attempts at living towards your North Node. We all have “meatloaf meltdowns” but they can quickly pass into sweet words and moments of humor and empathy for ourselves and others. ~elizabeth spring from: