The Meatloaf Meltdown; Crisis in Confidence

"The Meatloaf Meltdown;”
Crisis of Confidence

My daughter, Sarah, who has always identified with not being a domestic goddess of any sort—especially in the kitchen--decided to make meatloaf for her husband and baby girl last night. She had found some loose directions from an old recipe, and the Moon that night in Scorpio must have stirred something in her. I thought it was a good omen that my husband had dropped by her house late in the afternoon and had proudly returned home telling me of the good smells coming from Sarah’s kitchen.


Two hours later, she called me back, with both a cry and a laugh in her voice. She was seriously considering that perhaps she could have poisoned her family by undercooking the meatloaf. In fact, she went on to say, she was so upset by this possibility that when she placed the dish before her family she became nauseous just looking at the slightly runny meatloaf. She could barely eat it, and worst of all, she completely ruined the dinner for her husband who thought it was quite a tasty meal, except for the running commentary on it. Or maybe—worst of all she feared, they might now all have to go to the emergency room with food poisoning.


In good grandmotherly style, I proceeded to reassure her (for all the various logical reasons) that she hadn’t done anything deadly to her family, and I went on to ask if she could possibly see the humor in all this—about how hard she tried and yet how poignantly sad and deliciously funny it all was—especially since her husband insisted it was quite yummy and there was no pinkness except for the delicious bits of tomatoes.


Oh, by the way, they’re all fine, but Sarah’s courageous attempts at “domestic goddessing” and her second guessing of these efforts, struck a chord with me. How often do I set myself up for a challenge, do it, and then criticize myself for the flaws? Where is this nasty genetic or astrological gene that wracks us with our lack of perfection? I don’t think it’s worthy of a full astrological analysis, but it could have deep roots in our maternal legacy. But that’s another story.


Today, Sarah and I are affectionately calling this crisis of confidence, a “meatloaf meltdown.” There are no specific astrological correlates for this, although perhaps she was reaching for her North Node in Virgo, (with its down side of perfectionism) and the Moon that night in Scorpio might have whipped up her worse fears. However, since all you good readers of the Nodes are scrutinizing your lives in terms of the life direction and soul purpose, I would plead with you to be compassionate with yourself and all your attempts at living towards your North Node. We all have “meatloaf meltdowns” but they can quickly pass into sweet words and moments of humor and empathy for ourselves and others. ~elizabeth spring from: www.elizabethspring.com

Uranus; The Wild Card

Understanding the Wild Card: Uranus


It takes the maverick planet, Uranus, 84 years to make a full revolution around your chart, spending 7 years in each sign. Everyone has Uranus transiting somewhere in their lives at all times, but not everyone embodies or carries the Uranus energy as a primary archetype. Some people could be said to be more Saturnian, or Neptunian, or Venusian, but there are four times in our lives that everyone experiences the havoc and synchronistic magic of Uranus .

Uranus, the archetypal planet of the inner rebel, unexpected change, and individuation, accelerates our desire to act on the North and South Nodes in our chart. Because the Nodes give hints as to our life direction and soul purpose, then when those important transitional times come---especially at around the ages of 21, 41, 64 and 84, then the Nodes come to life again.

At approximately these ages, people tend to have transformative, rebellious, liberating, freedom-desiring, enlightening, unexpected, erratic, unconscious eruptions, and changing circumstances. These four transits, the waxing square, the opposition, the waning square and the return, are transformative passages that arise from unconscious movements deep within us. There’s an eruption of energies that have been repressed and are now seeking to come out and be made manifest. These are the days when epiphanies and life style changes are most obvious. Take a moment to consider these times, and particularly the profound effect of the Uranus opposition that happens between ages 38 to 43.

How to understand Uranus in your chart:

1--What “house” or area of your life is the action of Uranus happening in?

2—What “sign” describes the nature of how Uranus works for you?

3—What aspects to other planetary archetypes is Uranus making? If it is conjoining (sitting next to within 8 degrees) to another planet they link their energies together, either harmoniously or not, in a conjunction. If they are linked by a 90 degree square, then they internally create friction, resistance, and a challenge for you. When Uranus is opposed (180 degrees) to another planet it operates like a square, but the challenge appears to come from others outside yourself, rather than internally. If Uranus is linked by a trine (120 degrees) this triangle shows that the two planets support and enhance each other. Conjunctions, squares, and oppositions are not only motivating, but they “irritate” us to positive action and accomplishment. The Uranus opposition, around age forty, is the time when this planet effects are truly felt.

Astrology is a symbolic system, and is best understood as being about “the positive contemplation of change.” This kind of archetypal astrology is based on our free will choices, and asks us to think symbolically, and to ponder the internal or mythic quality of events. Archetypal astrology sees life through a lens in which change is ultimately always for our highest good, and is related to our past choices both in this life and in previous lives. And in this way, we can see that the Nodes, hinting at those past life choices and future probabilities, tend to get re-activated in Uranian times and flavor our experience. Uranus’ motto could be: “Let’s do something different!” That's usually a good thing, but occasionally may feel like you are sitting in "the theatre of the absurd." Elizabeth Spring www.elizabethspring.com

Mandala of the Birth Chart (Part Two)

The astrological chart sometimes reminds me of a round conference table, with all the planets, or internal voices, or “gods” sitting around the table, at a committee meeting. The lines in the center of the “table” represent the lines of conversation between the different voices in our psyche, or parts of our self. Your Sun can be seen as the chairperson of the board meeting—of the often riotous committee it tries to bring to order! Each planet represents a different aspect of oneself: the Moon is our emotions, memory, and nurturing instincts, Mercury, the communication ability, Venus the feminine and the anima, Mars the masculine and animus, Saturn, the reality principle of the Father and Cronos, and the outer planets of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto representing various aspects of the unconscious.

However when our lives—that is, when the map of our reality, as represented by the chart, no longer echoes the terrain of the chart, then all kinds of neurotic pain can erupt. Jim Hollis, a Jungian analyst and writer once told a story about a woman with a history of great suffering, and at midlife her world tumbled even more. She described her ordeal as feeling “fragmented.” When he asked this woman what she did when she felt fragmented, she answered in terms which told him that she would make it through to a more authentic life. She simply said “When this happens, I talk to this part of me, and then I listen. And I talk to that part and I listen. And I try to learn what Psyche wants of me.” This woman was assisting the dialogue between all the various parts of her psyche---she was honoring the gods within, rather than trying to silence or distract them. She wasn’t becoming a prisoner to unheard and cut-off parts of herself. She was attempting to give voice all the various personalities within her, or as an astrologer might say--she was discovering the committee within her, and she was finding meaning in the conversation. What a wonderful mandala the chart is—what a unique way to observe our Self! And like the ancient “astrolobes” with the arrow piercing through the center, we find the North and South Nodes piercing our charts, and giving direction and meaning to the committee within us….. ~elizabeth spring http://www.elizabethspring.com/

Mandala of the Birth Chart

There’s a mystery in a mandala, and a mystery in an astrological chart. They look similar with their circles, lines, and squares but I wouldn’t want to try to encapsulate it by reason, but rather to draw attention to the spiritual mystery within it. A mandala, to the Eastern religious mind, is like a Christian icon, a window to God. An astrological chart, to an astrologer, is a similar map of the psyche, of the Soul, and a profound means of acquiring Self insight. We enter the mandala of the chart primarily through understanding and honoring the internal planetary archetypes, the “gods.”

Carl Jung once said: “When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate.” ( Aion, CW 9ii) Yet no matter how much we understand the meaning of the signs, symbols, and complexities of the chart, it remains receptive to deeper and deeper levels of reflection. All good mandalas do this. Mandalas hold the mystery of sacred geometry. And so we ask ourself: Is this a way to know the Self, the Soul? Do we understand our charts? Can we ever get to the center of the Self?

Most contemporary Western astrologers believe that the Soul is on an evolutionary journey of reincarnation, and that in some mysterious fashion, our Souls have chosen a particular time and place to be born into so that it will experience what it needs to in this life. Is this theory, myth or truth? Does it matter? Is it at the very least an opening into dialogue with our higher Self? What a gift it is to see it that way—the chart as a tool for meditation, a map of the psyche, a personal mandala that hints at our unfolding destiny.


It’s often been said that character equals fate, and that character is created by the conscious choices we make and bring to each situation---whereas the word fate has the implication of no choice. One could optimistically say that when an inner situation is made conscious, it happens as our unfolding destiny. Or we can inspire a touch of fear by saying, as Jung did in the quote above, by saying that without consciousness, we don’t see the full range of our choices, and therefore encounter our fate.

So the mystery of the chart is a mystery to be pondered and to be brought into the light of consciousness. “Know thyself” the Greeks said. The chart is one way to know ourselves, and each planet can be seen as a symbolic archetype, or as a god that needs attention. Jung once said “every neurosis is an “offended God.” (Two Essays on Analytical Psychology, CW 7) If instead we try to render conscious all the conversations which go on within our psyche--between the “committee of symbolic gods or voices in our psyche” then we stand a better chance of honoring the differing parts of our nature. It sounds like a call to keep talking…..
In my next post, we’ll continue this conversation…. ~ elizabeth spring ellizabethspring@aol.com

Readings and Artwork

Dear Readers~

I'm afraid I failed to give Kerstin Zettmar credit for her "Rosen Heart" on the previous post, and if anyone is interested in her work please contact me and I will pass along the information to her. Also, it may have been confusing--I am indeed doing astrology readings! However, I'm not replying personally right now on the blog for requests for mini-readings/advice, till I finish the writing that I have set myself out to do. I'm sure you understand. ~ elizabeth

Dear Readers~

Dear Readers~

Help! I’m crazy writing these days, and I’m finding that I can’t get the time to reply to each of you personally, as I’ve committed myself to 1—finishing writing the book, 2—doing the readings I must do so as to make a living, and 3—preparing for my class at the Boston Jung Center in November.

I’m receiving personal emails and blog requests for a deeper understanding of your Nodes and chart, and right now I simply can’t do that. However I do—and must—continue to do readings for folks who want to spend the 60-90 minutes over the phone in an astrological counseling session—so please call or email if you want to do that..

So….what I’m saying is that I hope you’ll keep reading this blog and the articles on http://www.elizabethspring.com/ (check for new articles under “Soul Work”) to keep finding the concepts and hints here that will help you decipher your own Nodal Journey. However, unless I spend an hour or so preparing your charts—the natal, transit, progressed and possibly solar return or relocation, then I can’t truly answer your questions ethically or with a true understanding of you and your whole chart. I would be giving you information based on only a few lines of information from you—and how much better it will be to have you have the finished book, and/or a personal reading.

Quick sun sign astrology, or quick Node sign astrology, is superficial and can be misleading, if not dangerous—so I hope you’ll bear with me, and instead let me know if you want to be on a list for the book when it’s done, or call for an in-depth reading. Till then—I’m back to work!

As Garrison Keillor says: Be well, do good work, and keep in touch~ elizabeth

elizabethspring@aol.com Artwork; Kerstin Zettmar ~email to inquire about her work.

Archetypal "Jungian" Astrology

"Astrology represents the summation of all the psychological knowledge of antiquity." C.G. Jung

"We often believe our true Self is housed in our personal myth--in the story of our lives. I think that's a mistake; especially when we take our personal dramas literally. I believe that we're larger than the "story of our life" and Carl Jung believed that too. He delved into the personal and collective unconscious and found that we are richer and deeper than we know. He understood that we are not as small as our life stories might suggest, and yet I believe it is an amusing truth that we are also never quite as real or large as advertised." ~elizabeth spring

Jung believed that we get to know ourselves and heal our Souls through rediscovery and connection with the archetypal world, and that we interact with this world through symbols. According to Jung, our Soul speaks to us in this language of images through dreams and through archetypal symbols. Astrological planets are archetypal symbols, and our birth charts are a unique “map of our Soul” that can illuminate the relationship between our conscious and unconscious mind.

By understanding the symbals in our unconscious through dreams or through the planetary archetypes in our birthchart, we can take steps to break free of our more compulsive, repetitive, or “default” patterns of behavior. Astrologers believe that individual unconscious patterns are left as an “imprint” that can be read on the birth chart—as Jung said: “The individual disposition is already a factor in childhood; it is innate, and not acquired in the course of a life.” Astrologers believe this disposition is reflected in the planetary symbols that synchronize the moment of your birth with the heavens above. My teacher, Alice Howell, used to remind us that: "To think symbolically is a key to wisdom."

Carl Jung’s image in our psyche today often resonates with the archetype of the “wise elder man.” He points us in certain directions---as if to say: “Look to the mandala, look to alchemy, look to your dreams, look to the images in your unconscious and in the collective unconscious, look to astrology.” Jung was not a perfect man or teacher, he was a product of his time and culture, yet he was wise enough to say: “Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” (From: On the Psychology of the Unconscious)

Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud were psychiatrists and theorists who were ambitious men. Freud counseled Jung not to delve into the astrological world view as it could destroy his reputation as a reputable and scientific scholar, yet he did it anyway. (Ira Progoff in America also warned Jung in a letter that Americans would not take him seriously if he delved into the taboo astrological world. And although Jung was not one to be told what to do, we could speculate that he chose to focus more on astrology’s younger sister, “alchemy” in order not to be tarnished by astrology’s bad reputation at the time as a fortune telling craft.) Jung and Freud eventually parted ways because of their many differences in opinions.

So did Jung believe in astrology and use it? The answer is yes, as we see here in Jung’s own words from a letter that he wrote to the Hindu astrologer, B.V. Raman on the 6th of September of 1947. Jung wrote:
"Since you want to know my opinion about astrology I can tell you that I've been interested in this particular activity of the human mind since more than 30 years. As I am a psychologist, I am chiefly interested in the particular light the horoscope sheds on certain complications in the character. In cases of difficult psychological diagnosis I usually get a horoscope in order to have a further point of view from an entirely different angle. I must say that I very often found that the astrological data elucidated certain points which I otherwise would have been unable to understand. From such experiences I formed the opinion that astrology is of particular interest to the psychologist, since it contains a sort of psychological experience which we call 'projected' - this means that we find the psychological facts as it were in the constellations."

The kind of astrology I practice is archetypal and evolutionary. I believe Jungian psychology is a rich foundation upon which to draw inspiration and knowledge, and Jung himself was a powerful yet invisible mentor in my life. I also draw from the “evolutionary” school of astrology with my background in Theosophy and as an apprentice to Steven Forrest’s School of Evolutionary Astrology. This evolutionary overlay on the Jungian base allows me to look at the possibilities of reincarnation and karma, and to construct a parable or myth about the past life lessons and experiences as shown on the birth chart now.

Because the re-incarnational parable is not fact-based but instead is a largely unconscious emotional memory, I look to the nature and arrangement of the planetary archetypes to read it and detect what the Soul in this life is trying to learn and experience. Usually, we repeat the same karmic patterns until we become conscious of these invisible energy patterns and choose to not to repeat them.

I believe that our life direction and soul purpose is to “heal oneself” and that we do this by “knowing” and “remembering” our Self on a very deep level. This is the work of a lifetime, and I do not believe we are fated to endlessly repeat old patterns, nor are we bound by any predestined hand of God. But we do come into this life with the mixture of past life karma, free will, and the spiritual curiosity to experience both joy and love, struggle and pain. It’s a mixed blessing for sure. ~ Elizabeth Spring © 2008 www.elizabethspring.com

Artwork: Kerstin Zettmar (inquire for more info on her artwork)

North Node and Sun Opposing Each Other

"Elizabeth, I've recently discovered your website and have been completely immersed. When I look at my own chart, my north node is in Gemini in the 7th house and opposes my Sagittarian Sun in the 1st house. I had been assuming that one of the tasks of fulfilling a chart was to "become" our sun, that the solar quest was the heroic quest. When the south node is conjunct the Sun, are we suppose to move away from our Sun? I've seen a number of charts that have the same set-up - Sun opposing the north node. Do you have any thoughts? Patty"


Thanks for your response, and because others have asked similar questions, I’d like to reply in this post. Yes, the heroic quest is a solar quest, but that's different from the Soul's quest; although so intertwined it's hard to pull apart. The Soul’s quest is more about the Nodal Journey, with the North Node being the guiding star. The Sun sign leads the Soul in the world, as the body holds the Soul, but I believe it’s in the coming together of the body and soul, the Sun and the North Node, that we truly find our way home.


Let’s look at it this way---if you think of your chart as a conference table with all the planetary personalities sitting around this table, then you could imagine your chart as a committee meeting, with your Sun as the Chairperson and organizing ego. It needs to center and focus this group of sometimes unruly archetypes that want to be heard all at once and with their own agenda. So the Sun, like a Solar Hero or Heroine, is an assertive organizing energy that is the “vehicle” that your Soul has chosen to use in this life. So yes, we do need to fulfill and honor our unique Sun sign mode of being in the world. With that in mind, you’ll want to look at the qualities of your Sun to use as one uses one’s ego strength to live in the world. In your case, with a Sagittarian Sun, you’re being called to see life as a grand quest, to actively expand your world through reading, travel, contact with “foreign ideas” and to speak your truth in a forthright manner.


However, if the Soul’s journey is reflected more by the Nodal axis than the Solar ego’s journey, then when your South Node is conjunct your Sun in the same sign, it’s implying that your default pattern of ego behavior is indeed Sagittarian, but it tends to move into the lower expression of it when you’re not being conscious. In the astrological lineage I come from, we read the South Node somewhat negatively, as holding those behaviors that we’re very comfortable with, but which don’t suit us anymore for this life.


The Sun conjuncting a South Node reminds me of an exclamation point here! It’s as if is saying: be careful! You’re being called to access the highest expression or octave of your Sag Sun and not its knee-jerk expression. I’m sure you already know how Sag in its lower expression can be played out. But one thing might be most important---and what is it? It’s the need to integrate the highest expression of its opposite sign, your North Node, Gemini. So, the negative default pattern of Sag is, in part, to already think it knows all the answers because it sees the “mountain-top” view, but it has missed the view from the valley or marketplace. So it needs to come down from a point of philosophic/spiritual surety and over self-confidence, and rub shoulders with the commoners in the valley to see the many ways that “street smarts” and differing points of view can open the heart and mind even farther. And for you, with N.Node in the 7th house, it is calling for you to do this in close one on one relationships, partnerships and with close friends.


We always need to access the highest octave of any sign involved in the Sun or Nodal axis, and to move away from its lower octave or expression. It's a lot about complementarity in the Jungian sense--of bringing in new qualities we need, and shaking out the subtlest meanings to find the balance. I'd need to see your whole chart in a reading to do this justice, but I hope this helps.
Elizabeth Spring http://www.elizabethspring@aol.com/

South Node Twelfth House

South Node Twelfth House, North Node Sixth House

If you look at the Nodes from a re-incarnational viewpoint, then you view the South Node as descriptive of your last life, or lives, in terms of what you didn’t get right---what you still need to work on in this life, and the default pattern that you fall back onto when life becomes stressful. Your Soul wants to move away from the habits of the South Node, and yearns to move towards the qualities of your North Node.

The South Node in the Twelfth House of the subconscious, hints that you may have spent many lifetimes in dissolution of the ego—either through meditation and spiritual quests or drug/alcohol abuse, co-dependence, of confinement in convents, prisons, or asylums. You might also have felt exiled or ostracized from your community in some way, and in this life there’s a desire to regain your identity, your sense of Self, and to manifest your vision in a concrete way here on Earth.

For you to re-engage your ego, you need to develop the perspective of the marketplace and the valley, rather than the mystic view from the mountaintop. There’s a need to get good at handling the mundane details of life. You bring with you now a compassionate and perhaps mystical understanding of life which needs to be grounded in the affairs of this world. With a newly restored ego and persona you are better able to navigate the first half of your life, and the unconscious gold in the shadow of your twelfth house waits for you as you enter the second half of life with a stable ego intact.

So you’ll want to leave behind: feeling yourself to be a victim, escapism and addictive tendencies, withdrawal and feelings of inadequacy, oversensitivity and the avoidance of planning. The qualities for you to develop are: bringing order to chaos, creating routines, focusing on the here and now, being of service to others, taking risks in spite of fears, and choosing to value and analyze details.

With this Nodal axis there can be a desire for a person or mentor who you can totally trust. You want to let go into something larger than yourself that will support you, but you are more likely to get this when you go out into the world and are of service to others first. There you are more likely to find the people and mentors you desire, but you might even find that you don’t need them as much as you thought! In this emerging into the “marketplace” and sharing your gifts and talents, you may find that you yourself are the trusted mentor that you have been looking for….you’ve become your own best authority, and are now truly the author of your own life!

Elizabeth Spring For more articles or to enquire about an astrology reading: www.elizabethspring.com

Rekindling Lost Love

Rekindling Lost Love; the Astrology of Remarriage

Twenty years married. Four years divorced, and now we're six months into seriously dating—again. Its not an uncommon scenario, but it certainly is one that makes people smile when we tell them our story! Like a good ending to a movie, love survives. Some people can heal. We're hoping we can.

A few years ago I wrote about the ending of our marriage. "Reflections on Healing a Broken Heart" on www.elizabethspring.co . That article was my way of making sense of what didn't make sense—a good marriage that unraveled for no apparent reason. I thought it was a brave attempt to delve into the discrepancy between the overt and the covert facts. The shock of our mutual choice to separate had sent me into a state of withdrawal and grieving, which I called "cocooning," and simultaneously challenged me to be in the world in a new way—wounded but not whining. It took a consistent, and at times faltering effort to do that, to not shame or blame him or myself. I can simply say that we didn't know how to do it any better at the time. The question has come around again, and the answer remains too be seen: do we know how to do it better at this point? Have we really grown in such a way that we can now re-marry? We're hoping the answer is yes, but we don't really know.

Our story is an unfamiliar one, yet the reasons people reunite can be quite varied. Loneliness and dismay at the dating experience are obvious reasons, but that wasn't our primary experience. My ex had loved and lived with a woman for three of those four years, and although he was never engaged, they appeared to be blissfully happy. They bought a lovely country house together and moved out of state. I, too, made a valiant attempt at happiness, becoming engaged to a man after a two year courtship. But I found myself missing my old love at the strangest times. I would be the last to think that I would be beset by heartache while vacationing in Italy on the shores of lake Magiore with my new fiancée. But these moments did occur, and eventually I broke off the wedding engagement six weeks before the marriage. Both of our new relationships were serious attempts to disengage from each other and they each failed. Why?

About a year ago I went away on vacation by myself, and in the process of slowing down and allowing myself to really feel and assess my life, I noted over breakfast one day that I seriously missed my ex-husband. Writing him a letter I admitted there, was a split in my life that no other man could heal. I wrote that we felt like an unfinished story, and that the bittersweet weight of our mutual history felt as integral a part of my life as my own arms or legs. I felt that I had been tragically severed by our mutual decisions to separate. Six months later I got a reply. My ex had found himself unexpectedly in tears one day while browsing through the Hallmark cards; the anniversary cards were too much for him to bear. He too felt that our story was unfinished.

So was it nostalgia? Partly. And perhaps, forgive me if I sound too romantic, but we've come to believe that we never really stopped loving each other. Perhaps we simply weren't conscious enough to see that a mid-life crisis, a passing depression, or a growing apart are events that can be part of a marriage and not a reason to end it. We needed a healing and a time apart, but we almost lost the chance for a wholeness in our lives that we are now attempting.

Why couldn't we commit ourselves to our other loves? It is still a mystery—the way love is a mystery—yet it seems to be less the fault of the significant other and more about us. Perhaps we were deeply rooted in each other and felt at home in the same soil, and so the transplant simply didn't work. And perhaps we were still haunted by our original love and our vows to hang in there with each other through thick and thin. We had let go too easily when things got thin.

Since I don't believe in accidents but do believe in choice, I suspect we needed to do exactly what we did. We needed to experience in our new relationships what was missing in our partner to see if that made a difference. And so we found partners who supplied qualities each of us lacked. He found an emotionally supportive, consistently cheerful woman who, yes, even looked like me, and who helped him feel safe enough to do some inner work and therapy. She was not as demanding as I had been. And I had found a man who liked to read, travel and talk intimately about everything. He said "yes" to many of my dreams and, although he looked nothing like my husband, I must admit he had some of the same traits. (Being an astrologer I once jokingly prayed to God to never send me another Virgo. Well, "he" was a double Virgo! Who knows best what we need?)As an astrological counselor I am always being asked about the aspects and omens of love. If I see that my client has Uranus in the 7th house squaring his Mars in Aries and opposing his Moon in Capricorn, and his lover's Saturn sits directly on his Mars... well, I try to find convincing ways to say how every relationship has its challenges. Nothing is fated, and the chart, reflecting the chemistry of a relationship hints at the climate one will be exposed to, but not the outcome. What is most important is the intention of the couple and their willingness to use their free will to make conscious decisions. That's the clincher: conscious. Sometimes when we're in a Neptunian cycle of our life, its not that easy to accurately assess what we feel. Ego and soul needs are confused. And when we are in a Plutonian cycle, experiencing a life-changing event, we may lose memory and consciousness altogether, as we know it.

Last weekend I was at a craft festival helping my ex sell his pottery. As I was wrapping up a pot in a newspaper I spotted a recently published article on Ram Dass, the spiritual spokesperson for many baby boomers. Three years ago, just before the massive stroke that severely challenged his ability to speak, he was told by his editor that his new book (being published this month) was too glib and not visceral or deep enough. Today he sees his stroke as a "fierce grace" which allowed him to know and respect the extreme suffering and vulnerability that can come with age. People close to him noted that the stroke changed him, making him more humble and compassionate. The truth is that it nearly destroyed his faith.

As I read the article, the similarities between a near-death experience, such as a stroke, and the psychic earthquake of a divorce resonated in me. The shock to the system, the tearing away of illusions and vanity, and the vulnerability must be experienced to be truly known.

At these times the soul's ruthless orchestration of destiny confronts us with uncomfortable questions. If God is compassionate and I've been "good," then how can this be happening to me? Who's wrong? Can I redefine what is a loving God or a loving mate? Are "they" giving us what we want or what we need? When we are in the midst of illness or tragedy, we are motivated to redefine our relationship with a loving or not so loving God, whereas redefining human love in relationship is a conscious choice not everyone chooses to do. It feels easier to start over or drop out.

When love is not the endorphin-filled romance of wine-tinged illusions but rather the wrenching off of our socially pleasing mask, we may need some new definitions of love and peace. This is not a time for failure of imagination. What would love feel like? What would peace feel like? The challenge is to re-imagine the possible while not indulging in tight expectations.

In his interview. Ram Dass noted that in preparing for death one prepares for the deepest mystery of the universe, and you prepare so that you'll be open, curious, and not clinging to the past. You'll just be present, moment by moment. This may be the key. In loving and in dying the act of not resisting the present moment allows the soul to have its voice. It allows for the unexpected, for newness, for a chance to see things differently. In not resisting what is, an attitude of acceptance frees the energy that was previously bound by old expectations.

Some people say if a relationship didn't work before, it won't work now because people don't change that much. What needs changing? Who needs changing? Who's in charge? When the shattering of romantic illusions and all the small betrayals stand face to face with every real hope for peace, healing, and forgiveness, the chance for change is seductive. When I consider that my lover has heard the hard edges of arrogance and fear in my tone of voice and feels the uneasy questions within me and is still willing to love me again... well! Perhaps the only hard question then is whether or not he's willing to live with someone who prowls (noisily) around the house on the nights she can't sleep.

Last week I came upon a poem by Wendell Berry that moved me so much I inscribed it with a few minor changes on a day tablet and gave it to my new "old love". Today, after rereading the article written four years ago, I saw in it I had quoted a short poem also by Wendell Berry. A sweet synchronicity seems to be echoing here:

How joyful to be together,

alone as when we first were joined

in our little house by the streamlong ago,

except that now we know
each other, as we did not then
and now instead of two stories fumblingto meet, we belong to one storythat the two, joining, made. And now
we touch each other with the tendernessof mortals, who know themselves;how joyful to feel the heart quake
at the sight of you old friend in the morning light,beautiful in your night robe!
__________________________
Elizabeth Spring, MA has been an astrologer and counselor since 1992. She has studied astrology and the work of Carl Jung in England, Switzerland, and California, and has written numerous articles for newspapers and magazines, which can be read on-line. She does readings by phone (401-294-5863) and in person (R.I.), and can be contacted through her web site: www.elizabethspring.com or at: elizabethspring@aol.

South Node Eleventh House, North Node Fifth House

South Node Eleventh House, North Node Fifth House

Are your “friends” the kind of people who support your goals, your values, and see you for who you really are? Or are they people who have “just happened to you” along the way? With the South Node in the 11th house, there’s a chance that you need to move up an octave in choosing friends who support you and your dreams, and also a need to leave behind peer pressure in any of its forms. It’s important for you to become clear on who you are and who you want to spend your time with—move away from the crowds or groups that simply fill your time, and find a few “heart-mates” instead of acquaintances, and look for the community or place where you really belong. Look around a bit, so that you can sit at the right “camp-fire.”

With this South Node you’ll want to move away from the lower expression of Aquarian qualities: being emotionally aloof and detached, avoiding confrontation and intimacy, and having a tendency to think you always need more knowledge before taking action. Instead, it’s time to take more risks, to reach for center stage, and to develop one’s confidence---even if it means allowing your childlike qualities to come out more, and for you to be more of a “character.”

Your fifth house North Node here wants to have more fun, and to see life as a game worth playing. It can bring out your entrepreneurial and artistic side as well. This Nodal axis wants to get personal—to risk the love affair, to have a child, to express itself creatively. It doesn’t need to get philosophical and talk about saving humanity---how about just one child at a time? And maybe that child could just be your inner child that’s been neglected for awhile.

In past lives you might have been living on the sidelines watching others interact. You could have done great things as a scientist, an eccentric genius, a humanitarian….one who gave selflessly. Now it’s time to “give to the giver” and to feel the flow of love in and out of your heart. You’ve earned it.

(c) elizabeth spring For more information: www.elizabethspring.com

South Node Tenth House, North Node Fourth House

"Reject the seductive impulse to encapsulate the mystery by reason." Jim Hollis, Jungian analyst

The movement from the outer-world orientation of the tenth house, to the fourth house of one's inner world of family and personal mythology, suggests the wisdom of not sacrificing your personal life in the pursuit of worldly ambition. It hints of a need to focus more on the process of doing things rather than the goal or end result. We also hear a suggestion implying that the personal subjective response to life is the right one for you--and that as Jim Hollis mentions in the above quote, it's best not to reduce the mystery and process of life to logic, reason, and anything that diminishes the depth of the inner response. Here the mystery can be felt, not analysed.

In former lives, or earlier in this life, you may have trained yourself to repress feelings, instincts, sensual enjoyment for the sake of what needed to be done. You may have achieved positions of authority or respect, but you may have been separated from a sweeter flow of family interactions and personal reflection. This life is now meant to create a better balance between accomplishing things and nourishing and supporting yourself and others.

Although you'll want to show empathy and validate your own feelings and those of others, and to work for emotional security, you would be wise to focus more on yourself than others, and not try to take charge without fully understanding the situation. Use your intuition! You don't need to feel overly responsible anymore. You also don't need to hide feelings and fears in intimate relationships or do just what is socially acceptable rather than totally honest. By understanding and accepting other's fluctuating moods without judgment, you can find that things get done anyway, and people's feelings are, at times, most important.

You are bringing gifts with you into this life that make you a natural leader and person of authority; use these 'default patterns' of behaving to stretch into the realms of emotion, mystery, and deep connection to Self. Inner work is as valid, or more valid, than outer work in the world in this life, so keep that soul-ful connection to your spiritual, meaning-making Self. And in loving yourself for that, you will love and honor others for their efforts to do the same. Be the mystery you see.....

elizabeth spring (c) For more information or to inquire about readings: www.elizabethspring.com