Relationships: Are We Compatable? Sex, Intimacy, and Red Flags (Excerpt from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer")

It might be likely that our Leo man would draw to himself Scorpio/Pluto people and situations in order to learn from them. And yes, if he leaves her, he will find the same woman in a dozen other forms till his unconscious attraction doesn’t hook him in. If he is mature enough to honor their differences, to listen to his self-talk and to openly listen to her, then they can still love and enjoy each other in their similarities and differences.  

Here’s another interesting thing about couples: I’ve been surprised to find that one person’s Saturn having a strong contact with the other’s Sun or Moon (or a personal planet like Venus or Mars) actually works like a “glue” in keeping two people together. (I’ve seen this when two people say they want to divorce but keep coming back together.) It also works with Neptune contacting the Sun or Moon because it can bring up mutual idealism and intention.

To a certain extent this can even work with Saturn conjuncting Venus or Mars, although these are harder, because Saturn/Venus can often feel unloved in the relationship, and Saturn/Mars creates a situation where one person wants to “go for it” and the other wants to be cautious and go slow. But when these energies can be made conscious and each is aware of them, the relationship can work quite well.

Pluto contacts between a couple can be the most challenging, and I’d call them Red flags. I say this because Pluto likes to work “under cover” so there’s usually a communication problem and one person, or both, may be doing things secretly or doing things that unconsciously undermine the relationship. Pluto contacts are powerful and a relationship can work with them, but we can’t mince words here: they are about gritty transformation and growth between two people and many people want comfort more than  You need to ask yourself how much you can take on in a relationship. These contacts will push your buttons but if you are resilient and willing to do the emotional uncovering that Pluto contacts between two people create, well then go ahead.

Pluto often brings out issues around power struggles, money, and sex. Pluto-Mars contacts can be manipulative or create quite a power struggle at times, and with Pluto-Venus aspects there can be a fear of intimacy or an ability to only be intimate for a short period of time and then there needs to be space. People who have Venus-Pluto contacts in their birth charts or in a relationship chart may often find that if one person is away part time, like in the military or away on business quite a bit, this contact can work very well. (Sue Tompkins book “Aspects in Astrology” explains these contacts wonderfully.)

Pluto contacts can be seen as a red flag, but sometimes they are also the kinds of relationships we get obsessive/compulsive about and they can be very “juicy.” They’re Red! These contacts can be some of the best for passionate affairs which are both ecstasy and torture. Or we see the potential problems and decide that the gifts in the relationship are worth the work. With Pluto, something will be activated in the deep psyches of each person and great growth can happen….but if you’re looking for the phrase: “and they lived happily ever after” then think again.

 (To be continued...from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer")

Relationships: Are We Compatible? Sex, Intimacy and Red Flags

Excerpt from Chapter Nine: "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer

Years ago astrologers wanted to see in “relationship charts” lots of easy flowing trines and compatibility with little stress or “grit.” But today we’ve come to know that grit is what makes us grow and learn and experience more, so a mixture of both grace and grit is the ideal. I don’t care if some gritty aspects are there, but I don’t want to see too many red flags.

But let’s look first at the old familiar question: What sign is the best for me? There isn’t any. Not really. You have to look at the whole chart of each person because certain challenging aspects can be offset by graceful positive aspects. Grit and grace.

However there are planets that are square and opposite each other—who therefore don’t get along because they see things so differently—and there are planets that are conjunct or trine each other and so are simpatico. So the simplest answer is to look to see if your Sun or Moon is in a challenging or complementary flowing relationship with the other person.  

Sun signs of the same element tend to get along well—so if you’re an earth sign Taurus you’ll innately understand a Capricorn or a Virgo. You share some of the same values and style of doing things. If you’re a fire sign Sagittarius, you’ll innately understand the other fire signs of Aries and Leo. If you’re an air sign Libra, you’ll get how a Gemini or Aquarius is thinking, and if you’re a water sign such as Cancer you’ll feel a natural compatibility with the other water signs, Scorpio and Pisces.

Going deeper: there’s a wonderful compatibility that can exist between having the Sun sign of one person be the same as the Moon or Ascendant in the “Other.” I see this a lot, and there’s a natural attraction between people who have these contacts. That’s a definite green flag. Even having the signs being in the same element—earth, air, water, or fire helps. There’s an understanding built in with this—

However, let’s say your Sun sign squares your lover’s Sun sign or is opposite it—this doesn’t have to be either a red or green flag. If it’s a square aspect that person is going to bring into your life just what you aren’t all about and what you’re uncomfortable with…and an opposition…well, opposites are magnetic because they compensate for each other and attract! They are also similar in some ways as they’re on the same axis, but they see things from a different angle or viewpoint. So the square is somewhat of a red flag (pink?) and the opposition is almost neutral (faded pink?) You’ll learn a lot from each other with these aspects and the combination of you two as a team suggests that you could be successful in whatever you choose to do together—because you’ll approach things from a similar but different angle. It may be irritating at times, especially if one person is always attached to his point of view. 

 For example, let’s say you are a Leo man who prides himself on his generosity, open-mindedness and charismatic personality. And you meet a woman who is a fascinating Scorpio (Suns are square!) who appears to love listening to you, and you find her sexy, intelligent, and emotionally intense. You want to learn from her and you respect the fact that she is private in many ways. She is attracted to you because of all those wonderful qualities you have and that she lacks—she’s not really generous, but more possessive, etc. And she is amazed that you are so innocently self-revealing and she feels as compulsively drawn to you as you are to her.

Now if these two people are young, say younger than their first Saturn Return, they probably don’t know themselves very well. And the attraction they have for each other as opposites (which in this case is actually a square between Leo and Scorpio) will likely become irritating and they will project blame onto the other for their own missing qualities. Power conflicts might arise and they will probably each complain that they always seem to attract the same kind of partner! They do that because they project onto that person what they love and hate about themselves and which they aren’t aware of. It’s unconscious.

That’s why it was written about the Temple at Delphi: Know Thyself. Isn’t the Leo always generous? Is a king, or child, or aristocrat always generous? No….but he will instead see her lack of generosity in spades. And what about those secrets of hers? He was never jealous before; it was always women who were jealous of him. He hates jealousy in any form but now her privacy feels like secrets and stirs up feelings of….jealousy. They each hold each other’s shadow qualities.

The relationship isn’t doomed. Perhaps the Leo man has Scorpio on his ascendant—the ascendant being descriptive of his journey in life, and his way of operating in the world. Here is a little green flag…they are perhaps meant to dance together in this life for just a while. Or perhaps this Leo man has a moon in Scorpio….here is another green flag, as combinations with the Sun of one person matching the Moon of the other is a green flag! So the similarity of the Moon or Rising Sign tones down the red flag of the squared Suns. Following me?  (to be continued in next post)

(c) Elizabeth Spring   elizabethspring@aol.com  (If you wish to reprint or copy "Relationships: Are We cCompatible? Sex, Intimacy and Red Flags" please include my name and the name of the book---  "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer" and that it is available on amazon.com   ~thanks~

Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer: Excerpt from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own ...

Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer: Excerpt from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own ...: Excerpt from: Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer"   What Your Astrologer Doesn’t tell You~ What is “beneath the ...

Just released on amazon.com: "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer"

 The Book is finally out! And....I'm birthing it by giving a Workshop~ Come if you are near Newport, Rhode Island~

 

“What’s happening with me now?” In this workshop I'll look at your astrological chart--birth and current transits--for answers to that question, and I’ll  give you a copy of my new book "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer." Using the book and your charts you'll come to a unique understanding of yourself and what's happening with you now. What is stressing you? Where should you be focused? Are you stuck and looking for new opportunities? Is this a time to wait or act?

 

We'll look at the location and effect of the current Grand Cross on your chart, as well as Saturn (what you need to focus and work on now) and Jupiter (where you are likely to find abundance, natural talent, and grace.)  I will also talk a little on medical astrology, and the North and South Nodes as they relate to life direction and soul purpose. I’ve has been a professional astrologer for over 20 years, and am the author of 3 astrology books. My hope is that by using what you learn in the class, with the book, you will be on your way to becoming your own best astrologer.

 

The class will be on Sunday, April 27^th from 1:00--3:30. You'll need to register with me at elizabethspring@aol.com (best option) or call me at: 294-5863 with your birth date, year, approximate time of birth, and place of birth, as well as your phone number, so I can prepare and notate your chart.

It will be held at Kerstin Zettmar’s studio, upstairs in the Newport Congregational Church on the corner of Spring St and Pelham St. The fee is $45 (cash or check at door) which includes the book (or you can buy the book on amazon.com for 21.95.) Class size is limited, and on a first come basis--don’t forget, you must have preregistered for the class with your birth date to attend.

Hope to see you there!  ~Elizabeth