I received this in an email today: “As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You’ll have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be more concerned that it will never begin.”
This reminds me that we have a somewhat paradoxical self-protective mechanism in our psyche that seems to want to “let in” only so much joy or happiness. It’s as if we allow ourselves only so much awareness of the brighter side of life and the unknown possibilities that are inherent in each moment. Perhaps this filtering mechanism is there to protect us from feeling too sensitive or hoping too much, but in the present moment, no matter what the situation, we hold a capacity for more joy and love—and we can choose to open to it or not. Sometimes all it may take is the choice to not block or filter out the goodness that wants to come in.
We all tend to frame and express the current story of our life in a particular way at every moment. We continually re-tell ourselves “our story”—that life story you remind yourself of when you awake first thing in the morning. But by holding too tightly to the melodrama and “shoulds” of that story, you block fresh experiences that don’t fit in with that story line. However, we have choices even when times are hard—you can choose again—you can choose to awake today to the possibilities of unexpected joy and new experiences that aren’t conditioned by the past. You can choose to take in more joy. You can dare to color outside the lines of your life.
Astrologically, one could say that by clinging to the illusory safety of what we know and how we tell our story line, we repeat the default patterns of the South Node, and fuel our lives by our wounds and psychological complexes. We live through the Saturn/Pluto transits and the wounded complexities of our t-squares, but overlook the subtle beauty, joy and meaning in the other parts of our lives and charts. It would be a refreshing practice to reach for the highest expression of all our planetary aspects this spring, for the highest expression of Venus and Neptune (human and divine love) and to treat ourselves to the healing medicine of our North Nodes.
A final note: a friend of mine who has just celebrated five years of recovery from late stage Ovarian cancer, reminded me that “Love comes unconditionally.” Her cancer experience brought her to new levels of joy and “miracles” that she never expected. She said it also made her more “real.” What an interesting term! We tend to think that realness and reality is the negative bottom line—a Saturnian concept. In her case, she opened to an entirely different “reality” that showed her a deeper capacity for both joy and gratefulness. She tapped into Venus and Neptune and it transformed her life.
Elizabeth Spring © www.elizabethspring.com