Installing Love
Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Te ch Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hu rt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades. Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: No w, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God. ;
Oh I LOVE this one!! Great find, Elizabeth! And perfect timing too . . . :-)
ReplyDeleteVerbose Self-Criticism makes me laugh - it seems vaguely familiar as well, capital letters and all ....
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elizabeth.
I love this column! I recently saw an ad, I think for Paul Mc Cartney's latest cd called Memory Almost Full.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering if anyone has had or heard of interesting personal experiences related to the recent Jupiter Pluto conjunction.
I'm finding that I'm contemplating some radical changes that are more closely aligned with who I really am....some of it has to do with changing the whole idea of a book proposal I'm submitting, and the other is about possibly moving from this house. I think this Jupiter/Pluto conjunction can make us thing BIG and RADICAL. How about you???? ES
ReplyDelete