All posts here are from sections of the books: "North Node Astrology; Rediscovering Your Life Direction and Soul Purpose" and "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer" and "Astrology for the Third Act of Life" and finally "Saturn Returns~The Private Papers of A Reluctant Astrologer" All available in paperback, Kindle and Audible on

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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Relationships: Are We Compatable? Sex, Intimacy, and Red Flags (Excerpt from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer")

It might be likely that our Leo man would draw to himself Scorpio/Pluto people and situations in order to learn from them. And yes, if he leaves her, he will find the same woman in a dozen other forms till his unconscious attraction doesn’t hook him in. If he is mature enough to honor their differences, to listen to his self-talk and to openly listen to her, then they can still love and enjoy each other in their similarities and differences.  

Here’s another interesting thing about couples: I’ve been surprised to find that one person’s Saturn having a strong contact with the other’s Sun or Moon (or a personal planet like Venus or Mars) actually works like a “glue” in keeping two people together. (I’ve seen this when two people say they want to divorce but keep coming back together.) It also works with Neptune contacting the Sun or Moon because it can bring up mutual idealism and intention.

To a certain extent this can even work with Saturn conjuncting Venus or Mars, although these are harder, because Saturn/Venus can often feel unloved in the relationship, and Saturn/Mars creates a situation where one person wants to “go for it” and the other wants to be cautious and go slow. But when these energies can be made conscious and each is aware of them, the relationship can work quite well.

Pluto contacts between a couple can be the most challenging, and I’d call them Red flags. I say this because Pluto likes to work “under cover” so there’s usually a communication problem and one person, or both, may be doing things secretly or doing things that unconsciously undermine the relationship. Pluto contacts are powerful and a relationship can work with them, but we can’t mince words here: they are about gritty transformation and growth between two people and many people want comfort more than  You need to ask yourself how much you can take on in a relationship. These contacts will push your buttons but if you are resilient and willing to do the emotional uncovering that Pluto contacts between two people create, well then go ahead.

Pluto often brings out issues around power struggles, money, and sex. Pluto-Mars contacts can be manipulative or create quite a power struggle at times, and with Pluto-Venus aspects there can be a fear of intimacy or an ability to only be intimate for a short period of time and then there needs to be space. People who have Venus-Pluto contacts in their birth charts or in a relationship chart may often find that if one person is away part time, like in the military or away on business quite a bit, this contact can work very well. (Sue Tompkins book “Aspects in Astrology” explains these contacts wonderfully.)

Pluto contacts can be seen as a red flag, but sometimes they are also the kinds of relationships we get obsessive/compulsive about and they can be very “juicy.” They’re Red! These contacts can be some of the best for passionate affairs which are both ecstasy and torture. Or we see the potential problems and decide that the gifts in the relationship are worth the work. With Pluto, something will be activated in the deep psyches of each person and great growth can happen….but if you’re looking for the phrase: “and they lived happily ever after” then think again.
 (To be continued...from "Lifting the Veil; Becoming Your Own Best Astrologer")